O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger
or discipline me in your wrath.

Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint;
O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.

My soul is in anguish.
How long, O LORD, how long?

Turn, O LORD, and deliver me;
save me because of your unfailing love.

I am struck by David’s honesty with God. If it hurts, he tells his heavenly Father. He does not hesitate to ask for the pain to stop.

That first verse seems to hint that David had a reason to think that God might be disciplining him through the suffering and adversity he was experiencing. This is not bad theology – the Father chastens those whom he loves, and children should expect this from a good parent (Heb. 11:4ff.). David’s assumption that God might be angry with him and disciplining him is, I think, a healthy one.

I tend to think of it this way. When I give way to sinful patterns in my life, I can feel a chasm between me and God begin to develop. My focus on him begins to fade. I can feel myself getting more confused, more stressed, more scattered in my mind and heart; there is a negativity that begins to set in. Instead of faith and trust there is anxiety and even fear. I have especially felt this kind of fear and worry at night, and it keeps me awake and affects me deeply. (Elsewhere in this chapter David mentions his own sleep problems.)

In that state of distance from God, which can stretch from hours to days (and sometimes there can be longer seasons), it is not unusual for me to begin to encounter difficulty – a bad turn in health or a trial at work or a relational strain or an injury. And sometimes it takes those things to wake me up to the state that I am in – to shake me from my dull pattern and cause me to say, Zach, where are you right now?

And sometimes it gets to the point where you just can’t stand it anymore, and you are helpless, in emotional agony, and you cry out for help. This is the point.

God does not discipline us for sadistic enjoyment; he disciplines us for our own good, to bring us back to that calm and peace that only the Spirit can bring to us. The point is that we snap out of it and cry out to Jesus for help and trust entirely in his “unfailing love”.

Lord, I feel troubled at times. I feel lost. Even now, today, I am wrestling with sin, and I want to be done with it. I am tired of the wrestling. I ask you to deliver me, to empower my will to overcome by your Holy Spirit. Yet I am aware that in my shortcoming the most important thing is that I focus on you and not allow my sin to separate me. I don’t want greater folly to befall me; I don’t want to force you to correct me. So help me focus on you. In the focusing on you, there is a natural turning away from myself. You love me so deeply. You love me now and forever, regardless. Your love doesn’t fail. Help me to love you more.